About 1:30 AM, June 16, a man got in my car, Danny. When he came in he had his shirt off, but not because it was was warm, it was about 50-degrees outside. He was either getting dressed while coming out to his Lyft (Uber's competitor), or showing off his physique and tattoos. Once he got in he told me what he was up to.
"I heard there's a kegger at tent city, so drop me as close as possible, please.
*Tent City is where many homeless people live outside in camping tents.
I asked him if that was what he really wanted to do because it seemed like he was looking for trouble with the homeless in the middle of the night. He responded by telling me that he's a former marine, and every day of his life is a nightmare because all he can think about is what he has done, killing and worse as he put it, and the people he has seen killed and badly injured. He gave numerous examples of loss of limbs and explained that if he had lost a limb, he would have already killed himself. I asked him if he was suicidal and he said he would much rather be dead than living. I asked him how old he was, and he responded he had just turned 35-years-old. I'll be turning the same age in about 1-month. As he said that, I noticed his eyes looked just like mine, but life had aged him more in the face. And as I thought about that I realized him and I were in the same place in life when September 11, 2001, happened, which was 18-years-old, and the age that were about to be sent off in these many years of wars to come after that day, which are still ongoing.
I could have been Danny, but in my junior year of high school I went down to the recruiter offices and told them to all stop calling and I wasn't joining and why. It was easy then because each branch of the military was next to each other in a strip mall about 5 miles from my house. I remember how one of them pitched to me that "there will likely not be any more wars in your lifetime." HA!
*I do have to thank my mother for teaching me about the war empire I lived in, as well as my fifth-grade teacher Mr. Moody, and the only black teacher at my high school, Mr. Beck.
I also have to admit that I feel that I failed Danny (and humanity). When I found out what he was up to, and the way he was feeling, about depression, and suicide, and killing, I tried to persuade him to do something else other than going to the homeless encampment in the middle of the night, but he said it was going to be a great new life experience. He even urged me to come with him and said it would be an adventure. I said I could not because I had to work, and he should think about doing otherwise. When he made it clear he was doing it, what he referred to as finding the keg, I asked him if would be safe and not the hurt homeless. He laughed and said he was one of them some nights.
There's a lot of people who need help in Seattle, and in the world. And what Danny reminds me is the root of it all, the needless hate and division created by years of worldwide war, and rape, and pillage, which is still ongoing.
And sorry I'm so busy, things will get better in July, and then I'll stop failing you too.
ALSO, an Organic Gematria note:
This happened early June 16, 2018.
June 16, 2018 = 6+16+(2+0+1+8) = 33 (Life Lesson Number)
Marine = 33 (Reduction)
Teacher = 33 (Reduction)
The life lesson is when you are living for money, you will miss a lot of important opportunities. In this past week I failed a marine, and let an injured baby rabbit die while trying to nurse it back to health after getting shredded by the neighborhood cat. I know both encounters could have had better outcomes if I had done a better job. And of course, this work is getting less attention than it deserves right now BY A LOT. Thank you to all those who are picking up the slack.